The fourth visit to Saigon

For the two weeks following the Tet holiday, I had to be patient and wait. I contacted Monica who was looking after Rémi at the orphanage twice a week. She would go to visit him and take him to the playroom, take a few pictures and send these to me. She would also talk to Mrs. Yen to find out how our case was progressing, but even that was nebulous. She said that the dossier had been sent to Hanoi and when I called the Ministry of Justice in Saigon on February 20, I was told that the paperwork was almost ready and that I would be able to go to sign the papers shortly. All these contacts to follow up had to be made by one of the two ILMC translators, Thang or Duong, and I pestered them regularly since I could not contact them myself. When we called two days later, Ms Nga said that all was ready and when I would come, we would be able to set the date for the adoption ceremony. Victory! We actually did it!

Sunday February 26 and already, here I am again at Hanoi Noi Bai airport heading for Saigon. Monday morning, I went to the offices of the Ministry of Justice at 8:30 am with Monica who came with me to do the translation. I had to fill in a few forms with name and address though I felt I had written this many times before. But I guess a little paperwork will not kill me, hein? Once we handed the forms in to Ms Nga, she set the adoption ceremony date for March 13. Wow, I can’t believe we have made it this far against all odds! I spent a whole day going around to set the next steps in motion: finding the Vietnam passport bureau and getting the blue folder, go to the Canadian Embassy to get the application forms for a tourist visa and for citizenship. To my great relief, I then found out that the responsibility to put together the documents for the passport request falls to the orphanage. I will only have to deposit it at the passport office but at least I did not have to worry about where and which documents to get. I decided that I will go through a middle person and pay 350 US$ to get the passport in 3 days instead of 2 months. For his Vietnamese passport and the Canadian Embassy applications, I still need to wait until March 13 to get the adoption decree and submit all necessary documents.

Tuesday, I went to the orphanage to visit Rémi. He did not want to see me and started to scream. I had to take him in my arms for 3 hours and he did not move the whole time, a bit like at the beginning when he was withdrawn in his shell. Finally, at the beginning of the after-noon he started to move and interact, but I was surprised how long it had taken. At least I was able to give him to drink and we did spend some nice moments together. The next day, same crying game which really traumatised me a bit. He was fragile and sensitive, withdrawn and in his shell. But when he finally did come through, he was happy and playful. It is impossible to explain his behaviour change but hard to go through yet that is just the way he is. Even on the third day, he cried at first but it took only 30 minutes to calm him and then he even played with another kid for the first time.. I was happy to see him and tho it does not seem an easy road ahead, I feel like I am getting ready to become a father, bit by bit.

The director of the orphanage gave me a big shock – he felt like the adoption process was going along well and wanted my “donation”. I responded that I would do it on my next trip a few days before the adoption ceremony, and I wanted to confirm the amount. We had discussed this briefly two months ago and he had said 2000 Euros, but now he was saying 3000 € which is the amount that all Europeans pay! This meant a difference from 2800 to 4500 $Cdn! I felt so uncomfortable yet I did try to negotiate with the help of the unresponsive Mrs Yen, because I knew that I just did not have that much money. The director got mad and reminded me how much trouble my case had caused him and how much time he had put to push it forward. I thanked him for that, but he still walked out on me. I just sat there not knowing what to do, but then he came back a few minutes later and offered 3000 $US, his final offer. Without really realizing that this still was an increase of 800 $Cdn, I thanked him and walked away. And now, I have to find all this money and of course I know in my heart that Rémi has no price. I just want it to work out and find the means to make it happen. Already all the flight to Saigon, hotel and documents have been so expensive…

I leave him this time knowing that the adoption process is nearing the end and that our life together will soon begin. I worry about travelling with him by plane, by taxi and by bus but I am trying to have faith. I found some natural relaxing medicine which I will give to him before the trip, and hope for the best. One more week, and I can’t wait to bring him back to Ba Thuoc and take 2 weeks of parental leave and start our new life...

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