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Vietnamese wedding
November 26, 2006
At the beginning of the year, when I met my Vietnamese teacher, she was single. Now only 10 months later, she is getting married! She met her boyfriend four months ago, and since the Vietnamese are superstitious, the age of 25 is a good age to marry. After consulting with the astrologist and many official visits between the parents, the date was fixed for one month later, according to the lunar calendar. We were lucky since this fell on a Saturday but it could have just as easily fallen on a weekday. Weddings in Vietnam do not have a religious ceremony in a church or temple, but they are rather formal gatherings of families of the bride and groom’s at each one’s own hometown.
On the wedding day, I took the bus at 5 am and headed for Thanh Hoa City, arrival at 8 am. I dropped off my luggage at the hotel and then I made it to the house of the bride’s parents not far away. They had rented a ceremonial outdoor gazebo with the typical red and blue colors, tables and chairs. A few friends of the bride as well as family members were there, sipping tea and chatting. We had an early lunch at 10 am, then the bride and the family disappeared to get dressed and put on make-up. The bride came back one hour later in a beautiful white dress with veil. At noon, a large bus arrived with the groom in a black tuxedo with his friends and family. Again we drank tea and chatted. No alcool. One hour went by and then a large empty bus arrived, and we all boarded and headed for the hometown of the groom, were the reception would take place. But the bride’s parents, because of tradition/culture, stayed behind and could not come, and watched everyone leave with tears in their eyes, unable to join de festivities.
The 2 buses arrived at the groom’s parents’ house where yet a much larger ceremonial gazebo was standing. There was a large sound system and a master of ceremony who welcomed people as they came in. The bride and groom were at the front while one at a time, guests came to the front to sing karaoke and woo the crowd with popular Vietnamese songs. Again, more tea and biscuits were served complimentary. 40 minutes later, everyone got up on cue and left, and close friends and family were invited for an early dinner at 3 pm. The bride went to change in a traditional colorful ao-zai, and various dishes were served with rice wine. The meal was delicious with sticky rice, pâté, meat and soup. Half and hour later, once we had eaten and drank to the health of the new married couple, everyone got up and boarded the bus. The wedding ceremony was over.
I was happy to have come and shared this special day with my friend, but I am not sure that I am a huge fan of the Vietnamese type of wedding. To an outsider, it looked very traditional and set, like a task which needed to be done a certain way. Still, it did what all weddings do – that is bring family and friends together to wish the new couple happiness and usher in their new life….